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Only $19.99! Act now!

Build AWESOME abs, lats, and back muscles!

Works even if you're in not the mood to exercise!

The Torso Builder is a remarkable system, as old as human history but only now available as a late night infomercial product!

No bulky equipment to clutter up your house, and now you don't even have to go let someone sneeze on you, because it's available in a convenient Nasally Injected form!

Just squirt the amazing fluid into your nose, and the Torso Builder system goes to work.

Within a few short days, hardworking bacteria and viruses will have set up housekeeping in your bronchial tubes, using your body's own healing powers to create loads of Sticky Mucus, and causing Stupendous Involuntary Muscle Contractions - WHETHER YOU WANT THEM OR NOT!

Works day and night. You'll feel the difference in your muscles WITHIN 24 HOURS! But that's not all. Just one application of the Amazing Torso Builder System will keep working for UP TO SIX WEEKS!

Void where prohibited? Don't you wish.

Comments

( 15 comments — Leave a comment )
treacle_well
Dec. 10th, 2004 04:09 am (UTC)
:-(
sistercoyote
Dec. 10th, 2004 04:19 am (UTC)
You, too, hm? I commiserate.
(Deleted comment)
dawnd
Dec. 10th, 2004 06:11 am (UTC)
Naw. They kept having people using the knives for sepuku after the 4th week, and that was bad for marketing. ;^p


Here's hoping you feel better soon, firecat!
mittelbar
Dec. 10th, 2004 04:40 am (UTC)
Heurgh!
cjsmith
Dec. 10th, 2004 04:53 am (UTC)
That was *scarily* well done. :-)
I hope you feel better soon.
roadnotes
Dec. 10th, 2004 05:15 am (UTC)
Ouch. My sympathies, and some sincere empathetic wincing.
liveavatar
Dec. 10th, 2004 05:27 am (UTC)
Oy. My version is lingering too, but not like that. Here's to speedier healing.
kightp
Dec. 10th, 2004 07:40 am (UTC)
Heh. (*cough* *hack*)

I won't go into the part about where I was seriously considering buying some Depends ...
pir_anha
Dec. 10th, 2004 09:26 am (UTC)
Re: Only $19.99! Act now!
feel better soon! i'm just filled with admiration that you can still be funny despite the TORSO BUILDER's hardworking efforts.
saluqi
Dec. 10th, 2004 10:59 am (UTC)

Ouch. Sympathies.
sashajwolf
Dec. 10th, 2004 11:16 am (UTC)
*shudder* Hope you feel better soon!
angeyja
Dec. 10th, 2004 02:11 pm (UTC)
Yow. Hope you're feeling better soon.. but thanks for this! I am at day 6 and very ready for it to be gone. ;-)
epi_lj
Dec. 10th, 2004 06:24 pm (UTC)
Yeep! *hugs* I hope you feel better soon. :(
usqueba
Dec. 11th, 2004 01:42 am (UTC)
I stayed home from work on Monday. I felt your pain.

[[[hugs and nyquil]]]
( 15 comments — Leave a comment )

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