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an alt.poly post

Since I broke my own guideline of not contributing to dogpiling threads on alt.poly, I obligated myself to make a substantive post to alt.poly.

When I thought up the idea for the post, I initially hesitated to post it because I thought that some folks might believe I was sending messages to them personally or referring to their situation specifically. Which I amn't.

But I couldn't think of any other thing to post, so I went ahead and posted it anyway.

I hope that neither the post nor the disclaimer hurts or offends anyone.

Comments

( 41 comments — Leave a comment )
eeyorerin
May. 10th, 2005 09:41 pm (UTC)
I went and looked up the post (usenet reading went out the window when I was writing my dissertation, and I have to remind myself to go back), and I found it very useful and very resonant for me. If I write about it in my own journal, may I quote from it (with attribution)?
firecat
May. 10th, 2005 09:51 pm (UTC)
Certainly!
kightp
May. 10th, 2005 10:07 pm (UTC)
I can't imagine anyone taking offense. It's a solid, thoughtful post and when I have more time, I may respond to it. It wants some noodling and right now my noodle is otherwise engaged.

And I *love* Betsy's quote from your .sig file. (-:
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leback
May. 10th, 2005 10:15 pm (UTC)
I liked the post. I'll have little to say in response, I imagine, but I'm likely to chew on it a fair bit.

I suspect I will regret not staying out of that other thread soon enough.
kightp
May. 10th, 2005 10:35 pm (UTC)
Y'know, the thread in question looked like it was about to peter off of its own accord when Steve P. decided he had to play Champion the Underdog.

Oh - hey! I didn't realize you were on LJ! I hope you don't object to my "friending" you.
firecat
May. 10th, 2005 10:46 pm (UTC)
Yay, I facilitated a new connection!
leback
May. 11th, 2005 12:09 am (UTC)
Not in the least. Hi! :-)

I like Steve, usually, and I like that he often presents a distinctive viewpoint on things. I don't think he's likely to accomplish what he seems to want to here, though (I think Stef's advice on how to influence the tone of the newsgroup is pretty dead-on, really), and given that I have to imagine he knows that, I'm not sure what his motivation is, unless it's just to vent. If that's the case, I don't know whether it's more useful to discuss the topic with him or just ignore him, but I am prone to erring on the side of running my mouth...
firecat
May. 11th, 2005 01:05 am (UTC)
I think Steve has an interesting distinctive viewpoint on things, and also has some big blind spots. IMO, this is one of the blind spots.
saluqi
May. 11th, 2005 09:02 am (UTC)

Got any ideas about what to do when blind spots and hot spots collide?

I think Laura's post described something similar to the reasons I get cranky. That is, where there is a point being made, sometimes it's hard to work out whether someone is picking it undone via the application of logic to test the point, or just dismissing the whole thing on a technicality. And that doesn't even address the question as to whether logic can be applied to all personal communication situations.
firecat
May. 11th, 2005 05:23 pm (UTC)
Got any ideas about what to do when blind spots and hot spots collide?

I know what I do, which is state my POV/argument directly to the person once or twice, and if I get a sense the person isn't paying attention and thinking about what I said, then ignore them. The conversation will shift soon enough.

I don't know what to do to make the person think about what I said.

As for Steve specifically, the hyperlogical "debate" mode of communication that he uses annoys me a lot. Gentle humor sometimes knocks him out of it on a case by case basis, but doesn't stop him from using it altogether.
firecat
May. 10th, 2005 10:47 pm (UTC)
Thanks!

You have better reason for participating in that other thread than most...
leback
May. 11th, 2005 12:11 am (UTC)
Heh. I suspect my reason is what it usually is when I post to newsgroups, which is that I'm interested in whatever's running through my head at the moment, and I take that as reason to inflict it on everyone else. :-)
lysana
May. 10th, 2005 10:36 pm (UTC)
I'm actually bothering to look at alt.poly for the first time in ages because of this post of yours. But you have a good head on your shoulders, so I figure denying myself a look-see would be silly.
firecat
May. 10th, 2005 10:45 pm (UTC)
I'm flattered! (And I disclaim responsibility for the general dullness of alt.poly at the moment!)
lysana
May. 10th, 2005 11:32 pm (UTC)
I found it darkly appropriate that the contents I found outside of your post were part of why I stopped. Right down to the umpteenth variation of "BDSM is not abuse."
firecat
May. 10th, 2005 11:47 pm (UTC)
Yeah. [sigh]
therealjae
May. 10th, 2005 10:59 pm (UTC)
I did the same, but I'm totally lost as to which post you might mean. How embarrassing -- I don't *think* of myself as google-impaired.

-J
firecat
May. 10th, 2005 11:47 pm (UTC)
It's called "Wheel of Fortune". Google sometimes takes a while to find a new newsgroup post. Also, I canceled it by accident and had to repost it.
therealjae
May. 11th, 2005 12:57 pm (UTC)
Thanks!

-J
ailbhe
May. 10th, 2005 10:59 pm (UTC)
Not on my server yet. Subject line?
firecat
May. 10th, 2005 11:48 pm (UTC)
"Wheel of Fortune"
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firecat
May. 10th, 2005 11:48 pm (UTC)
I'm glad!
ex_serenejo
May. 11th, 2005 12:37 am (UTC)
I [heart] the post, and appreciated seeing it. I didn't think it was about me, but it spoke to me anyway.
firecat
May. 11th, 2005 01:07 am (UTC)
I'm glad you liked it!
ruth_lawrence
May. 11th, 2005 08:23 am (UTC)
I liked the post, and didn't see it as actual dogpiling.
firecat
May. 11th, 2005 05:26 pm (UTC)
Thanks!

The "Wheel of Fortune" post isn't dogpiling. The dogpiling is going on in another thread.
ruth_lawrence
May. 11th, 2005 06:48 pm (UTC)
I know, and I feel like unsubscribing.

I hate dogpiling, even when I actually agree with the general drift of the 'pilers' arguments.

It reminds me of nasty group behaviour in schools, on committees, and society generally. I see the pattern as part of human broken-ness, or at least immaturuity.

And I hate it if I catch myself joining in.
firecat
May. 11th, 2005 07:57 pm (UTC)
Likewise, hence my guideline that I should not participate, or if I do, I should at least also post something substantive elsewhere in the group.
ruth_lawrence
May. 12th, 2005 12:42 am (UTC)
A wise idea.

abostick59
May. 11th, 2005 07:25 pm (UTC)
So, ummm, what is the dogpiling thread?
firecat
May. 11th, 2005 07:58 pm (UTC)
"A poly sex slave"
abostick59
May. 12th, 2005 04:55 pm (UTC)
OMFG! "The lurkers would support you if they bothered to email"!!!
firecat
May. 12th, 2005 05:44 pm (UTC)
[snrch]
eve_l_incarnata
May. 11th, 2005 07:18 pm (UTC)
What is dogpiling?
firecat
May. 11th, 2005 07:59 pm (UTC)
In this context, it's where someone (usually someone who is generally disliked in the group) posts something that people don't like, and everyone piles on to attack the post (and usually the poster as well).
innerdoggie
May. 11th, 2005 07:54 pm (UTC)
I haven't looked at alt.poly in a really long time, and was meaning to this week to see what's up. Which thread is it? I see 700+ posts, and there are two really long threads (100+)
firecat
May. 11th, 2005 07:59 pm (UTC)
The one I was thinking of is called "A poly sex slave".
( 41 comments — Leave a comment )

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