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"victim mentality"

fattypatties gives us a really good essay addressing the notion of "victim mentality" as applied to people who experience systemic discrimination. Excerpt:
I don’t think most people who suffer from stigma think of themselves as victims. They think of themselves as human beings. But when they act like human beings and stand up for themselves, they are dismissed as whining too much or blaming others for their problems.
I sometimes judge other people for causing themselves their own trouble, although I usually keep my mouth shut about it. This essay reminds me to consider what larger influences might be at work in such situations.

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
cupofpoison
Oct. 9th, 2005 01:46 am (UTC)
Yeah, sometimes people do that because they need to talk about their problems, they need to get others' reactions because they are uncertain of something, and because talking about things helps them to think about the things.

Usually, we are taught to hear people and respond with pity; it's the easiest thing and takes the least effort. What may be a better thing to do is to respond with compassion, understanding; what we CAN do is relate and reassure the person of themself. That way, if they did cause their own problem, they will be better able to forgive themself for it and to make the effort to move on and be better for themself.

No? It's a lovely lovely quote, thank you for sharing it. ^__^
vito_excalibur
Oct. 10th, 2005 11:01 pm (UTC)
That's a great essay - thanks for linking to it.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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