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Prescriptivist foreplay

So there we were, lying in bed, discussing the plural of "octopus," as one does.
"I like 'oc-to-podes'."
"You pronounced that wrong. It's 'oc-to-po-des'."
"No it isn't. It's English, not Latin."
[side-eye] "I'm not taking THAT stinky bait."

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