Stef (firecat) wrote,

Selkie's people thank you

Thank you quasigeostrophy soaring_phoenix geekchick jinian griffen annaoj queensheba patgreene leduck mama_hogswatch gconnor gloriajn daltong nolly naesa whereisbeck bcholmes cassidyrose mittelweg krasota eeyoreerin hobbitbabe epiphany_69 dawnd jenett saoba lcohen kalmn faeryguinevere femmediva elynne moonvine the_ogre kightp lysana mamatiger djm4 bobbylevi wiseheron quietshell pyrzqxql browngirl pir_anha treacle_well cha diony wandra snickerpussnex0s joedecker grumpywitch beth666ann eve_l_incarnata zebraartist zyxwvut leandra333 porcinea therealjae boxofdelights bastette_joyce kyubi and our parents and others for your condolences, vibes, thoughts, hugs (virtual and in-person), offers of ears and shoulders, heart space, wishes, and "I've been there"s. They have been a great comfort to me and the OH.

Selkie perked up a bit on the prednisone. A few times, she felt playful enough to claw the carpet, or wave her paw at us. Once she climbed up onto my desk to lie in the sun. Whenever we cuddled her, she purred and wanted to rub her cheeks on our hands. But she wouldn't eat, so we knew she was saying "goodbye" and not "I want to stay around after all."

I'm glad we made the decision we did. But it was the hardest thing I've ever done. And it was especially sad at the end because she was scared of the vet and we weren't able to give her the completely peaceful passage that we wanted to. She did let go very fast once the injection started, though. So I like to think that she was only scared the vet would cause her pain, not that he would end her life, and that she's forgiven us.

After she was gone, we scattered her tub of catnip in the backyard. Then (in an hysterical rage) I gathered up most of her things and took them to the animal shelter to give away. The one toy I kept was a piece of plastic netting that's supposed to be for training vines. She loved to hide underneath it.

At the animal shelter I took out a dog named Princess, a mixture of pit bull and English bulldog. She was very quiet and just wanted to rest her cheek on my hand and gaze into my eyes. I think being with her started me thinking that I might heal someday.
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