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The object of the social game

If you think the object of the social game is to "never bother anyone" or "have everyone like you," then for sure it isn't fair or winnable. Not by anyone. But if the object of the game is to "find a few people you get along with," then it's winnable because you don't end up losing if you happen to bother some people.

Another goal to play the social game for might be "Develop the ability to get along with more people." Yet another goal to play for might be "Understand all the ways people can be different, so that if someone gets bothered, you have a better idea of why."

So which goals are you playing for?


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 10th, 2001 12:47 am (UTC)
I just want to be me :) and I want to be around people who like me the way I am. Lots of people don't like me, I'm honest and straight forward and a bit whacky :) But, I'd rather be alone - than try and force someone to stick to my rules - or to be someone I'm not to please someone - that's just false...and false is ... empty
May. 10th, 2001 01:37 am (UTC)
I don't really tend to think of socializing as a game, though I suppose anything can be thought of that way. It certainly isn't zero-sum. My goals in interacting with other people are:

* Learn new things.
* Be reminded that there are people out there who are not like me (this is a huge issue for me, so I try to arrange for pretty constant reminders).
* Something indefinable about finding people I can love and what a privilege it is to love someone and feel the joy of loving that person, with each joy and each love being different and exquisite.
* Something equally indefinable about feeling other people's love for or appreciation of me or something I do/can do/have done.
* Find things that make me happy or make me laugh or make me think that I could never have come up with alone or gotten from reading material, that required the give-and-take of interaction.

I think the social game needs a provision where you can, if necessary, roll to disbelieve. *)
May. 10th, 2001 10:26 am (UTC)
I think my problem is I gave up on the game. I am me and if they don't like it, then they can go climb a tree. If someone can accept me then more than likely I will be more than happy to be friends. I'm fairly easy going that way.

So, I guess the game is surviving through some lonliness and waiting until I meet someone who will accept me for me and not worry about the rest.
May. 10th, 2001 05:29 pm (UTC)
The Social Game
I guess I socialize away from work for two reasons, the first is to try and meet people who are on the same wavelength as myself, and the other is to share some experience or creative endeavor that is impossible on one's own.
I have had both individual and group failures and I have come to write them off as a cost of doing business. I tried to learn from all those failures, if they had a lesson to teach beyond "You can't win 'em all".
I have come to appreciate time spent by myself as well. There is no politicking or conforming to do, which is nice. I can follow my own Muse and rythems without anyone else getting knotted. I think anyone who wishes any kind of social success also needs to cultivate appreciation for solitude, lest one become clinging and needy, thus driving people away.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

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