Stef (firecat) wrote,

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"You can have what you want"

(noodling inspired by a post of loveandlight)

I've never had that much trouble having what I want. If I want something, I eventually figure out a way to achieve it or I figure out a way to stop wanting it. (I'm either lucky or clever in that I have a working reality filter on what I want, and I don't often spend a lot of time wanting things I definitely can't have.)

The trouble is in figuring out what I want in the first place.

I mean, I vaguely want all sorts of things, which change from hour to hour.

But I don't very often have a strong feeling of wanting something specific, a feeling that lasts long enough for me to make a meaningful commitment of resources to it.

And I usually don't feel good about "just picking something" out of the vague things that flit by and pursuing that for the sake of pursuing something.

Overall this is probably a good thing. But when I'm in one of those periods where I don't have a want I'm trying to achieve, I feel uncomfortably adrift.

There's a lot more to this...maybe I'll noodle about it some more later.
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