I spent 3 sessions with Silver today and she is calming down. She even purred for me. She hasn't eaten anything yet. But I am still feeling pretty hopeful about her.
It is quiet and meditative to spend time with her.
Had dinner with Q and hung out. Nothing has changed. She is being hard on herself, but also quite honest and in touch with herself.
Monday As soon as I woke up I ran to the computer and wrote this. I had my eyes closed as I wrote it because I was trying to keep my memories of the dream images intact.
ok, dream. i had taken over someone else's work and the work was a performance piece and it had art, comic art, very simple, and it was about a dragon and it had a radio station giving prizes and it had san francisco and there was a female cat talking who was trying to save her children and she lived in a high rise apt and god was going to talk to herSunday It was really nice to hang out at the zoo w/ N and co. There weren't any arguments about where we were going to go, and if people wanted to wait or go on ahead they just said so and did, and there was no sulking.
but the main thrust of the dream was that i had taken over someone else's creative work and i was getting to write parts of it, it was a play and various actors were having problems, one had a sore back and another had a puncture wound that was bleeding
and i was drawing. the drawings were simple but evocative. there was a word for them, i think it had 3 in it. kind of like 3 dimensional but not, it meant depth, emotional depth.
i remember bits and pieces of the story but
dammit, the problem with my new medication is that it messes up my connection with my dreams. if i weren't on this stuff i would have a better recollection of this.
I love the silence when OH is away. I also love being able to fill up the house with my own noise and be able to listen to music or books on tape or whatever. When OH is home I don't listen to that stuff because I am listening to him. It's a kind of hypervigilance, I guess.