September 16th, 2001

red panda eating bamboo

Worn down

Last night I went to J's party. I was a bit apprehensive about going because I felt that I would be surrounded by people who wanted to do nothing but rant about how evil Bush and the U.S. government are. Fortunately there wasn't too much of that. But I did end up standing out by refusing to get a peace sign stamped on my hand. I'm sorry, but I don't feel peaceful and I am not going to wear a peace sign just to fit in.

Someone I don't know very well turned to me and asked what I thought about displaying a flag. What I really think is "I approve, and should do it myself, and I also don't like that there is peer pressure to do it." But I wasn't in the mood for an argument so I said, "I don't have a problem with it, but I haven't done it myself yet." It turned out that she and her girlfriend were disagreeing about it -- one of them wanted to display a flag and the other thought displaying a flag stood for "I want unreasoned vengeance." I said that I was thinking of printing out a flag and adding the words "Justice. Restraint." and displaying that. A few people said they thought that was a good idea.

I am getting really worn down by feeling that I disagree with all my friends and family and extended network about what should happen next. (For the record, I support limited military action on the part of NATO with the purpose of crippling the organizations responsible for this so they can't do it again.)

I'm torn between going into hibernation and continuing to express my opinion in public. For some reason this has re-awakened my desire to clear out junk from my life, so I might be doing a big charity run. (waves to nimma)

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