enneagram

"I need to understand the world"

Observers have a need for knowledge and are introverted, curious, analytical, and insightful.

How to Get Along with Me

• Be independent, not clingy.
• Speak in a straightforward and brief manner. (This isn't all that important to me day-to-day; in fact several of my favorite people don't do this much at all. It does help if one is capable of it, even if one chooses not to do it all the time.)
• I need time alone to process my feelings and thoughts.
• Remember that If I seem aloof, distant, or arrogant, it may be that I am feeling uncomfortable.
• Make me feel welcome, but not too intensely, or I might doubt your sincerity. (No, for me reading that someone is insincere and reading that someone is too intense are different. If someone welcomes me "too intensely," I feel uncomfortable because I feel like I ought to reflect intensity back at them, and I don't usually do that. But I don't necessarily read them as insincere.)
• If I become irritated when I have to repeat things, it may be because it was such an effort to get my thoughts out in the first place. (This doesn't describe me at all.)
• don't come on like a bulldozer.
• Help me to avoid my pet peeves: big parties, other people's loud music, overdone emotions, and intrusions on my privacy.

What I Like About Being a Five

• standing back and viewing life objectively (Actually, I only like this sometimes. At other times I dislike that it's so hard for me to engage.)
• coming to a thorough understanding; perceiving causes and effects
• my sense of integrity: doing what I think is right and not being influenced by social pressure (Although this is semi-true, I of course think I am influenced by social pressure, although perhaps not as much as some people.)
• not being caught up in material possessions and status
• being calm in a crisis (Sometimes I'm more "frozen" than "calm" in a crisis.)

What's Hard About Being a Five

• being slow to put my knowledge and insights out in the world (I don't think this describes me, although I'm slower than some people.)
• feeling bad when I act defensive or like a know-it-all (This doesn't ring all that true these days, although it has in the past.)
• being pressured to be with people when I don't want to be
• watching others with better social skills, but less intelligence or technical skill, do better professionally

Fives as Children Often

• spend a lot of time alone reading, making collections, and so on
• have a few special friends rather than many
• are very bright and curious and do well in school
• have independent minds and often question their parents and teachers
• watch events from a detached point of view, gathering information
• assume a poker face in order not to look afraid
• are sensitive; avoid interpersonal conflict
• feel intruded upon and controlled and/or ignored and neglected

Fives as Parents

Of course I have no idea whether I'd be like this, not having children.

• are often kind, perceptive, and devoted
• are sometimes authoritarian and demanding
• may expect more intellectual achievement than is developmentally appropriate
• may be intolerant of their children expressing strong emotions

Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele

The Enneagram Made Easy
Discover the 9 Types of People
HarperSanFrancisco, 1994, 161 pages

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