I set about opening the boxes. I was kind of wondering why the tape job on one of them was not as neat as usual and why my name was printed on a piece of paper taped to the box. That didn't seem like Amazon's usual modus operandi.
Here's what I saw when I first opened the box.
The letter went on to say:
Recently it has come to the attention of our agency that you might be
able to adopt one of our robots. This report is intended to help you
decide whether you have room in your life for a robot!
Our adoptable robots are very quiet and undemanding. While they
vary in size, most can be easily accommodated indoors. There is no
need to exercise them daily, and their toilet habits are completely
While their appearance can inspire terror, they are actually quite shy
and will not seek out the attention of you, your family, or your guests.
On the contrary they wait until they catch someone's eye and only
then show their charms.
They are fully trained and ready to take their place in your family.
Won't you please adopt a robot today?
Yours in machine solidarity,
Robotic Overlords Adoption Agency
The letter was accompanied by several forms. Tucked underneath this cozy cover was a plush Sumo Robot with has a helpful nametag, just like Paddington:
Sumo Robot #1
Please take care of this robot
Here he is in his full glory:
I'm delighted that the Robotic Overlords Adoption Agency has found me worthy of such an honor! My next project is to find a companion for him, so he can continue his Sumo training. But first I'll go cook him up some chanko-nabe.
PS: Happy birthday snippy!