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Anteing up on the Boobie project

I was intending to give this idea the attention I thought it deserved (none) but so many folks on my flist are talking about it that I feel pressured to put in two cents.

(See how easy it is for some people to feel social pressure? No one is even standing over me asking me to wear a button or asking to feel my boobs. People are just writing about it.)

So:

It's fun to break social rules when you're among friends and people you trust in a relatively safe space. Sounds like the original incident was like that, and that's great.

I object to the "Project" aspect of it. I don't want entire SF cons to become spaces where I feel pressured to walk around advertising my willingness, or lack thereof, to be felt up.

I have some more personal reactions that I may put into a flocked post.

Comments

( 18 comments — Leave a comment )
sistercoyote
Apr. 22nd, 2008 07:25 pm (UTC)
Yes.

Also, don't feel obligated to say anything ever just because everyone else is talking about it. Say what's important to you. :)
firecat
Apr. 22nd, 2008 08:41 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I don't really feel obligated, but I do feel pressured. And it seemed relevant to the subject, since so many folks promoting the boob project are acting like it doesn't create any pressure. It's really easy for some people to feel social pressure.
sistercoyote
Apr. 22nd, 2008 08:42 pm (UTC)
I don't know if you've been back to Serene's post, but I've been heavily involved in the discussion there, and totally agree with you about social pressure. I've been accused of being puritan and a prude among other things.

So, uh, to finish my thought (much later), I'm wanting to withdraw my opinions and tell them they're all right.

Edited at 2008-04-22 09:29 pm (UTC)
firecat
Apr. 23rd, 2008 12:54 am (UTC)
Grr. Also ow.
sistercoyote
Apr. 23rd, 2008 04:17 am (UTC)
So the grr is about the puritan/prude thing I'm guessing. I appreciate the sentiment, but in general that's one of the few "insults" I can shrug off thinking "if they really knew me..."

What's ow for, though. Wanting to recant because I feel out of place?
firecat
Apr. 23rd, 2008 05:20 am (UTC)
They're because I think the main people arguing with you in Serene's post were being thoughtless turds, toward you and in general ("well, just look elsewhere" especially annoyed me) and because feeling social pressure to pretend to believe something you don't (assuming that's what you meant by withdraw your opinions and tell them they're right) sucks.
tiger_spot
Apr. 22nd, 2008 07:28 pm (UTC)
I agree with everything after the "So".

And now the vague sense of "perhaps I should weigh in here somewhere" is gone. Yay!
firecat
Apr. 22nd, 2008 08:41 pm (UTC)
Yay!
usqueba
Apr. 22nd, 2008 07:33 pm (UTC)
It's been swirling around in my head. My initial thought was, "Just cause I don't want to be groped by most people doesn't mean anything. It just means I don't want to". I'm fine with the way I look, I'm comfortable with my body, sexuality, etc.
firecat
Apr. 22nd, 2008 08:49 pm (UTC)
I may or may not be fine with all of those things, but I don't want to wear a button that basically invites people to wonder whether I am fine with those things.
(Deleted comment)
sistercoyote
Apr. 22nd, 2008 08:43 pm (UTC)
Yes yes yes!
firecat
Apr. 22nd, 2008 08:51 pm (UTC)
I wouldn't have a problem with an "open source boob project" room party, because you don't have to attend such a party and it doesn't make the whole con into a space where you have to contend with groping in some way or another.

(Watch, or avert your eyes from, or advertise your availability for or lack thereof.)
(Deleted comment)
firecat
Apr. 22nd, 2008 09:28 pm (UTC)
Thanks, it sounds like he and I agree on the appropriate scope for boob handling.
mjlayman
Apr. 23rd, 2008 12:47 am (UTC)
Your description of walking down a hall reminds me of working in my first companies. I once seriously injured a guy after he groped me for the third time (I'd told him seriously no the first two, and figured I should act on the third).
webmaven
Apr. 23rd, 2008 02:14 am (UTC)
This sounds (at an absolute minimum) rather creepy. Can you point to a post that provides more background? Google isn't giving me anything for "Boobie Project" on LJ except this post.
firecat
Apr. 23rd, 2008 02:25 am (UTC)
Try searching for "Open Source Boob Project."

Original post:
http://theferrett.livejournal.com/1087686.html

He has published some updates where he backpedals on the idea.
webmaven
Apr. 23rd, 2008 04:09 am (UTC)
Umm. Suffice it to say that I'm glad he retracted it as an idea suitable for widespread implementation in public spaces. Also, Greasemonkey and 'LJ Thread Unfolder' rock.
starcat_jewel
Apr. 23rd, 2008 07:22 am (UTC)
Egad. Just... no.

As he points out, doing this privately, among a group of trusted friends, is one thing. But a whole con? Fuck. That. Shit.
( 18 comments — Leave a comment )

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