here.
My mom often confused her preferences and mine, especially where clothing and gifts were concerned. (I'm using the past tense because she doesn't have a reliable memory for much of anything any more, so I don't have expectations about her remembering my preferences.) This used to frustrate both of us. At some point it stopped bothering me.
(Note, I never had a particularly good sense of her preferences either.)
My dad often seems to see me as an individual and understand what I like. I remember a few times that he bought me a gift that was exactly what I wanted but not something I had asked for or would think to buy for myself. (The LJ icon shows one of those gifts, a clay sculpture he gave me a few years ago.)
I think it has helped me a lot to have a parent who sees me as an individual more often than as reflection of themself.
I wish for everyone to have someone like that in their life, if not a parent, then another person they care about.
Originally published in a different form as a comment My mom often confused her preferences and mine, especially where clothing and gifts were concerned. (I'm using the past tense because she doesn't have a reliable memory for much of anything any more, so I don't have expectations about her remembering my preferences.) This used to frustrate both of us. At some point it stopped bothering me.
(Note, I never had a particularly good sense of her preferences either.)
My dad often seems to see me as an individual and understand what I like. I remember a few times that he bought me a gift that was exactly what I wanted but not something I had asked for or would think to buy for myself. (The LJ icon shows one of those gifts, a clay sculpture he gave me a few years ago.)
I think it has helped me a lot to have a parent who sees me as an individual more often than as reflection of themself.
I wish for everyone to have someone like that in their life, if not a parent, then another person they care about.
Comments
I had something odder with my stepmother, when I was still talking to her. She delivered a salt and pepper shaker set for Christmas one year that looked like red and green tree lights. She insisted I had asked for them. I would never have been in a store where they sold them, much less asked for them. I think my step-sister-in-law probably wanted them.
I'm trying to be better about saying who I am and what I like, but that is a complicated process because many people filter "I prefer" and "I like" as rejections of what they prefer and like. Touchy!
many people filter "I prefer" and "I like" as rejections of what they prefer and like.
Yeah, I know what you mean.