Stef (firecat) wrote,

Being seen

Originally published in a different form as a comment here.

My mom often confused her preferences and mine, especially where clothing and gifts were concerned. (I'm using the past tense because she doesn't have a reliable memory for much of anything any more, so I don't have expectations about her remembering my preferences.) This used to frustrate both of us. At some point it stopped bothering me.

(Note, I never had a particularly good sense of her preferences either.)

My dad often seems to see me as an individual and understand what I like. I remember a few times that he bought me a gift that was exactly what I wanted but not something I had asked for or would think to buy for myself. (The LJ icon shows one of those gifts, a clay sculpture he gave me a few years ago.)

I think it has helped me a lot to have a parent who sees me as an individual more often than as reflection of themself.

I wish for everyone to have someone like that in their life, if not a parent, then another person they care about.
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