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a REAL job

I have a part of my brain that keeps asking me when I am going to get a real job. It asks less often now that I have volunteer work outside the house than it did when I was staying at home trying to write fiction. This is part of the whole idea that "making beautiful things doesn't count as a valid thing for Stef to be doing seriously" that I'm struggling with.

And then once I deal with that idea, I'll have to deal with the one that says "But you're not skilled enough. What you're making isn't really beautiful. Other folks started earlier and are ahead of you, so you might as well stop bothering and buy their stuff instead."


( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 13th, 2001 05:30 pm (UTC)
making beautiful things isn't simply a job - it's a necessity!
Mar. 13th, 2001 07:03 pm (UTC)
Something clearly is bothering you. You sound as knotted about doing creative things as I used to bet about HotBiBabes and relationships. Despiration for inspiration never works. If you need an idea, suggest the creative problem to yourself before you go to sleep, then, the next day, do some relaxing activity you enjoy. A walk in the woods always helped me. The trick is to let go. You are holding on too tight. Treat The Muse like a prospective lover. Woo it and make it feel comfortable around you. Being your friend for these two years has made me realize that an exotic sex life is not as glamorous as it looks and involves some hard work. Well, take my word for it, creativity is the same way.
Mar. 13th, 2001 08:56 pm (UTC)
It's not inspiration I need, it's permission.

Yes, it's like courtship.
Mar. 14th, 2001 02:37 am (UTC)
Well, then sit down with a calculator, a spreadsheet, or a financial program and whatever you use for a day planner, and work out exactly how much resources you can afford to give to the project. If you can't afford *anything* then that is your answer, but usually one can work out some boundaries to your artistic endeavors and thus get permission from yourself.
Dreamwork and meditation can help with getting the creativity, but I fully understand what a time-sucker spirituality can be, so if The Muse and you are already on speaking terms, you don't HAVE to.
Mar. 14th, 2001 08:47 am (UTC)
You are so "J". smile

The kind of permission I need isn't something I can get from a day planner. (Seriously, I have tried that. It isn't enough.)

I'm in the process of creating the permission. I know the process looks a little weird, but I can tell it's working.
Mar. 14th, 2001 01:21 pm (UTC)
For me, simply wanting it is permission enough. Wanting it bad enough to overcome the practical obsticles (or sometimes ethical issues, but those I treat as just another cost, with a finite wieght in the decision making process) is another issue, but not the same as permission is for you I don't think.
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )

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